The Sweetest Gift

Every year we take the kids to Santa Express. It's downtown, which is an adventure in and of itself. You bring the children in, they are each assigned an elf and you get a claim check for your child LOL. You make up a list of people that they are shopping for in advance, you set the budget, but they get to go with their elf and select their own gift and wrap it, so they have their own surprises to bestow on loved ones at the holidays. All of the proceeds benefit the Vanessa Behan Crisis Nursery, so that makes it all the more special.

My son and daughter are alike in some ways, but could not be more different in others. My son picks out his gifts and it never occurs to him that someone might find his gift silly or might not like it. He picks them out with confidence and feels good about giving them. He chooses his gifts based on how he feels about the recipient entirely. My daughter has a lot more anxiety around gift selection, because it often occurs to her that someone might not like something that she has chosen, she just always wants to choose that "perfect" gift and studies your face and your reaction, to see if you "really like it," or are just being nice.

We settle in on Christmas Eve, to exchange gifts. My daughter gave me a lovely floating candle (I love candles, but will never burn it because I want to preserve it forever) and gave her Dad a tape measure that said #1 Dad on it, so fitting as he is a carpenter. Truly lovely gifts.

So then, I move to opening the present from my 7 year old son. I opened the bag and saw a felt deer. A deer. It was so my son. He puts himself into every gift he selects rather than putting the other person into it. To him it all makes perfect sense, which completely touches my heart. We talked about his gift and he said "Mama, I chose this for you because you love the outdoors so much and deers make real good mamas and you are the best mama ever." Hearing his explanation just about did me in, was very emotional, once I got past the mental image of Bambi's mother who ultimately got shot and bit the dust! I realized how brilliant and meaningful it was to me that he gave me a part of himself that night and he was so proud of his choice. The gift was unconventional and the love was unconditional.

Beyond that, the real gift my children give to me every day is the privilege of being their "mama." I know they don't realize it, even when I tell them. It's hard for kids to reconcile that parenting is a gift, but one day I know my words will echo in their ears, it will click, perhaps as they are telling their own children the same thing.